Well, I sit on my ass, and knock down a glass,

And watch Clint Eastwood all night long.

'Cuz that's what I do when I get the blues,

Gotta gun down villains from dusk til dawn.

You might say I'm crazy, say I'm loose in the screws,

But hold on a minute pardner, I got Spaghetti Western Blues!

Wyatt Earp wants 'em dead or alive,

And Sherriff Pat Garrett slings a Colt 45.

The Badlands are burnin' with the sound of gunfire,

And Dodge City, Kansas just sent me this wire:

Spaghetti Western Blues? STOP Ain't no cure! STOP

Do yourself a favor, son, put faith in the Lord! STOP

Spaghetti Western Blues are gettin' me down.

The video rental stores have closed my account.

For a few dollars more, the hills run red,

The good guy's gettin' ugly, the bad guys get dead.

From Sergio Leon' to old Karl May,

The silver screen is where I'm gonna spend my dyin' day.

When Liberty Valance comes into town,

And two men face, one goes down.

Well don't look now but here they all come,

The injun contingent is poundin' war drums.

They all looked Italian, but that's okay,

The California unions demand much higher pay.

So circle the wagons and rally the men...

-But wait what's that? Is that a bugle callin' in the distance?

Thundering across the desert on a thousand hooves?

The Cavalry is comin' to the rescue and it couldn't be too soon!

Oh! Could this mean deliverance from Spaghetti Western Blues?

(Brief interlude of yipping from Italian Injun Contingent raid and conflagration.)

(Narrative:) But alas! All good things must come to an end.

And so it was with the era of the Spaghetti Western.

Indeed there came a time; a sad point in our history,

when the Spaghetti Western faded from the screen like

Marinara sauce drippin' off a meatball.

But thanks to the man made miracle of video tape,

and now digital video technology,

Middle aged men like myself can play cowboys and indians

well into our forties, our fifties, even...

- well, Hell! Until the day we die!

So let that message of hope cause you to rejoice and

fill your heart with gladness.

So long as there is electricity in this world and a place to plug in,

we don't ever have to grow up if we don't want to.

Thank goodness for that great American tradition

imported from the land of Mozzarella cheese,

The Spaghetti Western.

(Chorus) Please take me back to the days of long ago,

I'm at home on the range, and I can roam with buffalo.

Me and Smith and Wesson and a weather beaten vest,

Will ride into town and we'll tame your Wild West.

Spaghetti Western Blues will keep me driftin'.

I'm a bad pistolero, I'm a son of a gun,

Shootin' companeros is a whole lotta fun.

Round up the posse and pass the chips and dip.

Grab a six pack from the fridge, strap a six gun on your hip.

Spaghetti Western Blues will keep me driftin'.

One of these days I'll be wearin' a star,

And drinkin' with the lady at the end of the bar

But right at this moment, I'm afraid I got a hot date with my VCR.

Spaghetti Western Blues will keep me driftin'.